There's More Life In This Death
by Minoudixenpierre
Summary: Continues after the episodes End Of Time I & II. The Doctor's holding on, but he finds that after his regeneration, he's not quite the same man... In fact, he's still him, his spirit free of the flesh... Better than the summary!


A/N: A one-shot I wrote, after having a tenth Doctor marathon which ended with The End Of Time. However, if anyone asks me to, I will continue it...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who, sadly, because if I did, the poor Doctor wouldn't have regenerated. However, thankyou Master from stopping the Time Lords from killing him! Yeah, see, we like the Master now as well :)

* * *

He wiped a stray tear from his eye, breathing in deeply. His words broke with a sob of despair, and another tear fell.

"I don't want to go. I don't want to die."

Another tear fell, followed by another, and together they streamed down his handsome features, splashing down his crumpled pinstriped suit, falling to the grating that was the floor of the TARDIS. She hummed slightly in his head, trying to share his pain, relieve him of the burden that was still yet to come. He patted the console affectionately, murmuring his thanks and accepting her assistance, feeling the pain lighten significantly. He didn't bother to stop the tears, and he placed both his hands on the console, grasping it as pain lanced through his head.

Oh god, it burned, digging through his memories, stringing up every pain and death, forcing him to watch it again, and he cursed angrily to himself in Gallifreyan. He quickly swore again, this time in English, purely because the fact that he had spoken his native language after what he had just seen them do disgusted him and made him feel sick.

He half collapsed to the floor, and he pressed against the floor of the TARDIS, the metal cold and harsh against his skin, and he welcomed it willingly. He smiled as the lights below the deck shone up brightly into his eyes, liking the way that if he shifted his eyes just slightly to the left, he seemed to see himself, holding hands with Rose, and he could hear those words clearly in his head._"How long are you going to stay with me?" _

_He asked, turning his head as he waited patiently for her answer, tracing in every detail of her face, imprinting her in his mind._

"_Forever." _

_She said, turning to meet his gaze, their eyes locking, capturing the moment that felt like a second, yet it seemed like forever._He gasped suddenly, jerking up violently and involuntarily as pain ripped through his body, and he thought his hearts would both burst. He glanced down at his arms, pulling up his sleeves, and tears splashed onto his skin. All healed, everything that had hurt him gone. His skin glowed softly as fire flowed through his veins, and he shook his head, trying to deny what was coming. It was too fast, far too fast. Everything he had lost, everything he had amended, and now? Now he was going to lose it all, even himself.

"I can't, I can't die… I can't!"

He screamed the words, screamed them until his throat burned and was raw, screaming them until his voice became nothing but a whisper.

"Why?"

He asked the silence, running a hand through his hair, grasping his hair as he burned at his own touch.

"Why now? Everything, everything, I saved them, made them better, please?"

The TARDIS let out a soft moan at his words, as she felt his despair and frustration clearly through their Doctor groaned as he lifted his head, as he pulled himself up from the floor, his body weak, tired and heavy. The usual light that comforted him now hurt his head, every inch of his energetic body ached, and all those painful memories that he had kept hidden for so very long in the back of his mind unravelled, spilling out, overflowing and overcoming his mind."Is this it? The end of time, the end of me? Was this always how it was supposed to end? Was this always how I was going to end, going to die? Tell me, please?"

His cries were desperate, pleading. His senses of time were going crazy, conflicting with each other as they fought desperately."I'm going to die."

The Doctor said bluntly, yet in fear, admitting defeat. If anything told him that he was going to die so soon, it was that. He closed his eyes, resting his head gently against the crystalline column, as it soothed him with a gentle green glow. It was a Monday, no, it wasn't, it was, a Friday, definitely a Friday, but the time…?? 7:55, no, that was AM, he needed, what was it on Earth? PM, that was the one, so on Earth that would make it… 19:55. He let out a sob of grief, as he knew he was counting down his last few minutes alive. Alive as him. Before he would die, and a new man would saunter off with his memories and knowledge. Never before had he felt the pain that he felt now, both of his hearts breaking. Breaking like they had when he'd… When he'd lost Rose.

He stepped away from the console, standing with his arms wide open, smiling weakly as the TARDIS reflected his appearance. Oh boy, were his companions right when they had said he was skinny, were they right when they said he looked young. He had to admit, this was his most handsome regeneration, and that wistfulness for wanting of ginger hair was forgotten and meant nothing. Now, he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for not noticing some of his companions' affections, for with untidy, dark brown hair, that pale skin, that slender frame, those deep, storm-tossed eyes, it was really no wonder they had fallen in love with not only his personality, but his appearance. He sighed, wishing he had known this earlier. If he had, he wouldn't have told Martha that they'd share a bed, would not of refused Rose for so long… He shook his head. That was all gone now, soon to be a lifetime ago. He tilted his head back slightly, and a final tear fell from those ancient and wise eyes.

"Allons-y."

He spoke for a final time, before a golden light consumed him, and he began to fade.

* * *

The Doctor stood there, his hands buried deep in his pinstriped pockets, as he watched himself. Well, his new self."Oooh, still got legs!"

His new self exclaimed, and the Doctor simply shook his head, his messy brown hair hanging over his eyes slightly. He patted the console affectionately one final time, smiling to himself as he took a step backwards. The TARDIS let out a sad moan as she realised his actions, but she understood his reasons, understood that now, even though he was the Doctor, he was not now the Doctor in flesh.

He laughed as he sidestepped out of the new Doctor's way, ducking his head as the coral strut exploded and crumbled above his head. His new self could not see him, but then again, many would not. But he would never forget what had happened, and as he opened the doors of the TARDIS, standing there, facing into the whole of time and space, he whispered his words into the time winds. "Never forget me, but most importantly, never forget those who stand closest to you."

They echoed across the vortex, and smiling, he stepped forwards, as he left the TARDIS for the last time._Sometime_ _Later……_"…And he was just stood there, as if he hadn't done anything, but he'd just saved both of our lives again, hadn't he, Mickey?"

Martha asked, and Mickey nodded.

"True, he just looked at us, then walked right off! Didn't say a word."

He exclaimed, and Jack tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I saw him too, and I thought 'It's gotta be him because I'm in the middle of a bar in space and no-one would be able to find me that easily but the TARDIS'. Anyway, I get this message from the bartender, and I look up, and the Doctor's just staring at me, and then he hooks me up with the guy next to me!"

Mickey let out a laugh.

"Typical, we're all fighting and the world's coming to an end and you're off getting drunk and talking aliens into your bed!"

Jack shrugged.

"It's what I usually do."

Sarah Jane encouraged her son to speak, and Luke piped up suddenly.

"And he saved me from being run over!"

Wilf and Sylvia leaned forwards.

"Well, the Doctor said…" Wilf started, and the rest of the Children Of Time sat closer, ready to they all sat talking animatedly, deep in discussion about the Doctor's mysterious appearances, the Doctor stepped forwards, smiling as he watched his companions gather. His brilliant, brilliant companions, whom he had saved as a final act of his life. And for that, he was thankful. He had died doing what was right, protecting those he loved."Never forget me, but most importantly, never forget those who stand closest to you." He echoed softly, gazing at them with all glanced up suddenly, peering round.

"Who is that?" Jack exclaimed, and Wilf let out a triumphant laugh.

"It's him! It's the Doctor!"

"Yes, it is," Luke said sadly, and Jack placed a hand gently on the teenager's shoulder, as he saw what Luke was looking at.

"We won't, Doctor, we promise." Jack said solemnly, and the ghostly figure nodded slightly, smiling.

"I'm proud of you all," He said happily, "You are all brilliant, brilliant people! I'm honoured to have even met you."

He finished, and waved a hand in a salute to them.

"Captain Harkness, Martha, Mickey, Sarah Jane, Luke, Sylvia, and Wilf."

They all saluted in return, and Jack smiled sadly at him.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" He asked, a tear falling silently down his face.

"Course you are!" He exclaimed happily, taking them all by surprise.

"After all, I've not really got anywhere else to go, so if I could, if I wasn't in anyone's way…?"

Jack started forward, wrapping his arms around the ghostly figure. "Aha! Course you can, that's brilliant!"The Doctor smiled again, his dazzling smile stretching across his face. So maybe he had died, and maybe there had been sadness, and although time waited for no-one, not even the last of the Time Lords, maybe, just maybe, he could find some happiness in this death.


End file.
